In part two of Beyond Sadness we are introducing more of our philosophy and sharing specific, practical steps you can put into practice today to dramatically shift your understanding and experience of life.

Keep in mind that a new relationship to happiness and sadness may very well require letting go of what we already “know” and a willingness to step into something new.  Humans are meaning making creatures.  We filter and make sense of new data, concepts and ideas within the context of our current viewpoint and experiences to date.  As a result, we often reflexively react to something new merely because it is different from what we have been told in the past, or even believe we have experienced before.

To Awaken Beyond is to grow, develop and evolve into new levels of awareness in life.  Entering into these new domains naturally requires expanding beyond what we have been comfortable with up to now.  It requires a readiness to create meaning and make sense of the world in a way that may be new to us.  It is about stepping out of life’s many assumptions and into a much more full, balanced and whole embrace of ourselves, our lives and the world in general.

Here is a very brief introduction to a portion of our philosophy and some practical steps you can take today.

The Awaken Beyond philosophy and technologies are built upon the recognition of an ever-present order in the universe.  Deep explorations into numerous disciplines from the sciences to philosophy to theology, etc. reveal underlying patterns and principles that, to date, appear to stand everywhere within the known universe.  These “universal laws and principles” become more evident the more man explores the micro, the macro, and everywhere in between.

This recognition of universal laws was first introduced to me nearly 15 years ago by Dr. John Demartini through The Demartini Method^®.  I learned that you can awaken ever-increasing levels of gratitude and love by learning to quickly recognize and maturely embrace the inescapable equilibrium within all people, situations and events.   I have found The Demartini Method^® to be a highly integrative process to quickly bring my mind into equilibrium.

Here is one of the principles I want to share with you today:

The Unity of Opposites

Found in many disciplines, but commonly recognized from the Chinese philosophy of Yin/Yang, is the realization of complementary opposites within a greater whole. At the heart of this understanding are two poles of existence, which while opposites, are actually complementary.  All polar or seemingly opposite forces are interconnected and interdependent and give rise to each other in turn.  Everything has both yin and yang aspects.  An overall balance is maintained.

In Taoist philosophy, Yin and Yang arise together and are always equal and opposite qualities that are bound together as parts of a mutual whole.  The Yin/Yang symbol represents one of the most fundamental and profound theories of ancient Taoist philosophy.

Philosopher Alfred North Whitehead taught that all things and events are in their essence vibratory.  An individual wave contains both crest and trough.  This wave, although itself a single event, can only be expressed through the opposites of peak and trough, high point and low point.  In actuality there is never crest nor trough alone, but always a unity.   There can never one without the other as they, as with all opposites, together inseparably make up the whole.

Renowned philosopher Ken Wilber wrote about this extensively in his second book, No Boundary – Eastern and Western Approaches to Personal Growth.  Wilber states, “As Whitehead would say, pleasure and pain are just the inseparable crest and trough of a single wave of awareness, and to try to accentuate the positive crest and eliminate the negative trough is to try to eliminate the wave of awareness itself.”

In short, all opposites arise simultaneously and come into existence together.  It is absolutely impossible for one to exist without the other as they are bound together in an inseparable unity.  Throughout the entire known universe we find this inherent unity of opposites that remain forever inseparable.

Biblically this reads as, “Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low.” – Isaiah 40:40

The twin masks of comedy and tragedy are used to represent this in creative arts, demonstrating our perception of tragedy is the very cause of our comedic experience.

Why This Matters to You

Like the inseparable polarities of a magnet, or the peak and crest of a wave, the mind maintains this same equilibrium.  Since all opposites arise simultaneously and come into existence together, the mind cannot create one polarity without simultaneously creating its equal and opposite.  Every happy has its attached sad, every elation its accompanying depression, and every joy its equal and opposite sorrow.  And…the reverse is also true.

With both sides always equally present, in actuality you are never more of one than the other.  Even though your awareness may not be recognizing it, in truth, a perfect balance of opposites is always maintained.  Therefore, no emotion is bad, wrong, or even eliminated.  However, any emotion not acknowledged simultaneously with its equal and opposite emotion is only partial.  Both polarities are always present.  Awakening to this ever-present balance is one part of the Awaken Beyond process.

“Whenever you perceive more pleasure than pain or more pain than pleasure, you experience lopsided emotions…. You dissolve imbalanced emotions when you train your mind to look for the other side of every event and realize that it’s impossible to get anything other than a balanced whole.” – Dr. John F. Demartini

Even though both sides are equally present, your mind selectively attends to one side or the other.  It’s in these moments that your mind looks more like a pendulum, not at rest, but swinging to and fro.  In fact, the more undisciplined the mind, the more it behaves like an out of control pendulum, swinging in extreme.  The more the swing to one direction, the more the equal and opposite return to the other.  (This swinging is actually value driven and will be explained in future posts.)  Here our experience of life becomes like a relentless rollercoaster ride with extreme highs and extreme lows – all driven by our own overlooking of this inherent balance.

In the mystical traditions, to see through the creation of these opposites is to become liberated.  In this state one is “freed from the pairs” and steps into a center of awareness that transcends them both (I stress momentarily).  Today’s post is not to create overnight mystics, but to first begin awakening to the balance within your own life and mind.  Future articles will guide you through the more mystical dimensions by showing you how to simultaneously unify these opposites and step into the space from which they all arise.  In fact, one of the primary reasons I founded Awaken Beyond was to share this realization, not theoretically but as a direct, immediate, personal experience.

For now, know that in any given moment, a balance of opposites is always present.  Remember the magnet and the peak and trough of the wave.  One-sidedness is not possible.  The physics of the internal universe hold this truth as well – equilibrium is maintained within individuals and collectives at large.  Look at any cultural/social issue and you will see that every movement is balanced by its equal and opposite movement.  The opposing emotionally charged stances balance and breed one another as they form and maintain a perfectly balanced whole.

There will be plenty of future articles expanding on this ever-present equilibrium – countless ones in fact.  The truth of perfect equilibrium stands.  Today’s post is not a dissertation on physics, philosophy, theology, etc. but a brief introduction and a few steps you can take right now to immediately and dramatically shift your experience of life.  For today, simply let this principle of equilibrium serve as an orienting framework and know that we will spend significant time building upon it later on.

Application

One of the key tenets of Awaken Beyond is to become increasingly aware of the equilibrium that is already present within you.  And herein lies the key – already present within you.  Repeatedly discovering this inherent balance has served as one of the most valuable tools in deepening my understanding and enriching my experience of life.  It will dissolve your emotional charges, free you of distractions, clear your mind, and open your heart to gratitude and love.  You will feel more centered, certain, present and poised.

Here are some principles and practical steps you can apply to free yourself from perceptions and experiences of imbalance.

1)  The masses of people are hyper-focused on an attempt to find and maintain life’s elusive monopoles – positive without negative, pleasure without pain, praise without reprimand, support without challenge, and happy without sad.

However, all aspects of the universe, including the mind maintain equilibrium.   Consequently, chasing one-sidedness and intentionally elating yourself in an attempt at disequilibrium is a pointless exercise in futility.  Know that whatever elates equally depresses.  There is always a balance.  Take the time to train your mind to look for the balance in all people, places, things and events.  Expand your awareness and deepen your maturity by finding and embracing both sides.

2)  Make it a regular practice in self awareness to look for the balance within.  For example, if you think that you are depressed with yourself it is time to become deeply honest and ask where you are equally elated with yourself.  Know that in truth your mind is already in equilibrium.  You cannot feel depressed about yourself without equally feeling elated about yourself.  Humbly, deeply and honestly search for the innate balance that is already within you.

3)  Begin taking the labels you have assigned to yourself and projected onto others and find where within those same individuals the opposite is equally present.  Do this until any labels you have created such as “positive or negative, nice or mean, kind or cruel,” are equilibrated, neutralized and dissolved.  Do the same for events that you have perceived in an imbalanced fashion, labeled and consequently become emotionally charged about.

Lastly, and this one is extremely important, we will be doing many posts on it:

4) Quite often in life we think we are depressed because we are comparing ourselves, a situation, or our lives to a fantasy about how we think it is “supposed to be.”  However, if we were to look closely we would see that it is in that very fantasy that our simultaneous equal and opposite elation can be found.  In other words, the sadness about our reality is in direct proportion to the opposite happiness in our longed for fantasy.  These elated fantasies and depressed realities work together quite magnificently as a team.  Remember the magnet and wave? Once we realize that these two polarities always arise together, we can begin using our sadness as a tool in pointing out to us where we may be holding an equally imbalanced fantasy.  Fantasies of pleasure and elation give rise to equal and opposite realities of pain and depression.

Look for any lopsided fantasies you may be holding and begin bringing those down into equilibrium.  As you do, you will notice a corresponding shift and balance in your current experience.  Ask mind equilibrating questions such as:  What would the new drawbacks, negatives, pains, and frustrations be if my imagined fantasy came true?

The more our perceptions are brought to an awareness of nature’s balance the less our habitual way of thinking and behaving is misguided by lopsided unattainable fantasies.  The more you awaken to life’s deeper order, not just intellectually but as a direct realization and lived experience, the more you realize that the order that already is, is much more astonishing than we could ever fantasize it to be.

Summary

The laws of symmetry and conservation stand.  All opposites arise as a team and maintain equilibrium throughout every moment of our lives.  Accordingly, let us recognize that people are actually much more magnificently balanced than those who are labeling them are leading us to believe.

Remember that in any given moment our awareness of this equilibrium or lack thereof largely creates our experience of life.  Misguided attempts at eradicating life’s intrinsic and essential balance are the very source of much of mankind’s perceived suffering.

Deeply acknowledging life’s balance, not through mere concept or theory, but by true recognition, takes you beyond polarized emotional states and into deeply centered states of profound gratitude and love.  It is very important to understand that the purpose of recognizing life’s equilibrium is not to bring you to a state of intellectual indifference, but to awaken within you a deep appreciation for the balance of life.  This level of mature appreciation and true gratitude (as opposed to polarized emotional states such as elation or excitement) occurs only in moments of perfectly balanced perception.

In fact maturity and love are often described as the willingness to embrace both sides. Think of the marriage vows.  Know that the more you expand your awareness to include life’s inherent balance the more you grow as a person.  By making the unseen seen and becoming more aware of what is already there, you evolve and enter into new and more expanded spheres in life.

“Hi levels of personal evolution are earned over time by a sustained commitment.” – Alan Combs

Commit to awakening to life’s balance.  It will reward you with access to deep states of being and a fulfillment much more profound than polarity alone could ever provide.  When you equilibrate your mind, you Awaken Beyond the pairs of opposites and step into the deepest, unlimited part of yourself.  This awakened space, your very own deepest nature, is available to you anytime your conscious mind is brought to perfect equilibrium.

Learning, applying and mastering these tools has helped me repeatedly to quickly dissolve and breakthrough many of life’s most challenges events. We will share concrete, specific examples in future posts.  It has also blessed me with nearly 15 years of indescribable fulfillment in working with others and helping them to do the same.  I find working with others at this level of depth rewarding beyond description.  Contact us directly for more information about how you can begin to use and integrate these principles into your own life by e-mailing mark@awakenbeyond.com.

Discover the balance.  It is there waiting for you.

Mark Lorenson

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Thanks for stopping by… Let’s Awaken Beyond…

After my last post entitled “Beyond Happiness,” I received some e-mails asking my thoughts on sadness and depression as well.  Readers want to know what unique perspective, understanding, and awareness Awaken Beyond brings to these topics, and most importantly, what practical things they can do right now to shift their current experience of life.

While happiness and sadness have been of interest to me as far back as I can remember, deeply understanding depression became much more poignant immediately following my father’s suicide nearly 20 years ago.  The topic has been of immense importance to me since. 

Monsoon / Photolibrary / Corbis

First let’s look at some statistics that the label of “depression” is producing:            

Time Magazine states that antidepressant use in the U.S. doubled from 1996 to 2005, according to a report in the August issue of Archives of General Psychiatry. During that decade — the last period in which data were available — the percentage of Americans using antidepressants surged from less than 6% to more than 10%, or more than 27 million people.

While Awaken Beyond is not a philosophy of optimism, I did find more interesting statistics from the book Creating Optimism by Bob Murray and Alicia Fortinberry:

• Depressive disorders affect ~18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year.

• The rate of depression is doubling every 20 years and, according to a Harvard Medical Center study, the rate of childhood depression is increasing by 23% a year.

• According to the World Health Organization depression second largest killer after heart disease by 2020–and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease.

• 80% of people who see physicians are depressed and studies are increasingly linking illness to depression, including osteoporosis, diabetes, heart disease, some forms of cancer, eye disease and back pain.  

• Depression results in more absenteeism than almost any other physical disorder and costs employers over US$51 billion per year in lost productivity alone.

• 30% of women are depressed. Men’s depression rate was assumed to be half that of women, but new estimates are higher.

• Preschoolers are the fastest growing market for antidepressants.

You read that last part right.  Preschoolers.   In short, “depression” is such big business that is has now even made its way into the preschool marketplace so that your child can now pop-a-pill just before jumping on his or her Iron Man 2 Learning Laptop and tackling a day’s play.

It’s startlingly apparent that addressing depression is of major importance to our quality of life.  Correlatively, it’s becoming a bigger and bigger business by the year.  A quick search on books about depression reveals scores of psychologists and authors with books about how to “Feel Good” and be “Happy No Matter What.”  Awaken Beyond holds a much different perspective and understanding on this topic.

A refreshingly new perspective:

Awaken Beyond is not another lopsided, wishful philosophy about feeling good rather than bad, or happy rather than sad.  It neither longs for happiness, nor fears sadness. 

Here are just a couple of the differentiating factors in the Awaken Beyond approach to understanding and appreciating life differently.

1)  Awaken Beyond embraces and appreciates life’s many emotions from a balanced, integrated and whole place.  It is from this place that one begins to understand the absolute necessity of sadness and depression and appreciate the roles they play in a much larger whole. 

2) After one understands the essential rolls that both happiness and sadness play, students learn a step-by-step process of how to transform any challenging emotion into a deeply liberating state of profound appreciation and love.

3)  Awaken Beyond takes more serious students a step further.

Ultimately Awaken Beyond is about your own deepest nature.  It’s about awakening to your truest self and living a deeply awakened life.  Our work extends an open hand and invitation to courageously step into a much larger you… an actual deeper essence and unchanging space from where all life’s temporary emotions arise – not theoretically but as a direct, known experience. The more your life becomes increasingly awakened to and grounded in this place, the more you find happiness and sadness to be less relevant, less of a concern and much more beside the point.

Keep in mind that Awaken Beyond is not merely a conceptual or theoretical life philosophy, its new realizations are brought about by new practices and experiences.  Part TWO of this article will shed more light on not only what this deeper essence is, but specific, practical steps you can put into practice today to access and live from this higher, deeper, and wider place. 

Awaken Beyond…. Profound awareness…. Profoundly different life…

As a kid I remember a lot of confusion regarding my emotions.  At times when I felt happy I simultaneously noticed a sort of underlying guilt, like it wasn’t quite completely true.  Likewise, when I felt extremely sad, I noticed this same underlying feeling of it not being completely real or authentic (though I’m certain I didn’t use that word!) 

Looking for answers I went to my father. “Dad?” I asked. “Sometimes when I’m really happy I feel guilty about it.  It’s like it’s not completely true.  So then I make myself sad.  But then when I’m sad I feel the same way, like I’m not really only sad.  I’m confused. How am I ’supposed’ to feel?”

“Happy,” he said.  “Son, you’re supposed to be happy.  We are all supposed to be happy.”  Years later, during a bout of bi-polar condition, he committed suicide. 

We live in a world that is infatuated with happiness.       

In fact, stop about anyone on the street and ask them to quickly list as many drawbacks as they can to “happiness,” and I predict that their response will be nothing more than a hollow stare.   It is the fantasy that runs our lives.

Most will do almost anything in an attempt to obtain it.  We run around buying yet more cloths we’ll never wear, change jobs, change relationships, change medications, change addictive substances.  All in an attempt to isolate and solidify an elusive happiness, disconnected from its balancing opposite emotion of sadness.    

We look and look to everything outside of us until we come across some self -help article that says, “Hey, look within!”  So we do.  If we are awake, aware and honest, we would see that happiness and sadness are magnificently balanced within us as well.  Could there be a bigger picture and perfection that we are overlooking and therefore not embracing?  Could this broader embrace contain within it a higher truth and deeper experience that’s waiting to be discovered?  Ever heard its call?  Might this deeper experience be calling you now?

I state this strongly and with absolute certainty:  Our infatuation with attaining perceived “happiness” is the very source of our perceived “sadness.”  Our striving for elation is the source of our depression.  Our addiction to pleasure is the very source of our pain. 

We’ll explore this in much more detail in further posts.  We’ll also give you strategies to not only break the cycle, but enter into a new understanding and experience of life that you will ultimately find to be much more profound, rewarding, and fulfilling.

Of course there are many definitions of “happiness.”  As many as there are definitions of “success” I would imagine.  Regardless, as long as we are preoccupied with the quest for such a state, we will never allow ourselves the possibility of awakening beyond it and into the much deeper truth of who and what we always already are.  In future articles, we will spend much time exploring what that is.  We will also share the exact steps you can take to personally discover and enter into this vastly more expanded and rewarding experience of life.

For now I pose the following question:

Why stop at happiness when we can open beyond it and into the deep truth of who and what we truly are?  In other words, in regards to the state of happiness, why stop there? 

There is something way beyond happiness that I would love to be your life’s experience, and I am deeply committed to sharing it with all those, and only those, who are ready.

Throughout this blog I will introduce you to something else.  We’ll have many posts on this “something.”  If you choose to embark upon this journey with me, my promise to you is that this will expand your mind and allow you access to a much more awakened, authentic, and deeply fulfilled you.  Upon this realization, any remaining infatuation, or preoccupation with happiness will then be laid to rest.  So, let’s go on a journey together, shall we?

“The pursuit of happiness?”  What if there is something deeper?

I’m going to begin this article by pointing out the obvious:  We are in a period of dramatic change.  Much is different now, and for many, a lot didn’t quite turn out the way it was originally planned.  As we enter a new decade much has come to an “end” and much is undergoing a “new beginning.”  There will be more monumental events, challenges and adjustments in this new decade.  Changes will continue to be made, and they will impact us in numerous ways.  In not knowing what to expect, these times of change can naturally feel destabilizing.

While it may be a challenging time, particularly economically, it is also wise not to lose sight of the many balancing beneficial aspects of all that is occurring right now.  For how can we capitalize on that which we are unaware?  In order to do so, we have to operate from a broader, more balanced perspective, and move beyond thinking only bad thoughts.

We have entered a new era of adapting, adjusting, reconsidering and reinventing.  It’s through these very times of challenge and change that many are given a fresh start, an opportunity for renewal both personally and professionally. 

Many are receiving new insights and lessons in life, lessons that if applied, will prove to be invaluable and take them much further than they could have ever gone without them.  What would have been the price of never receiving them?

While many are being reminded of common-sense life-strategies such as wisely saving a good portion of their income, others are being schooled in some of life’s deeper lessons, such as the principle of impermanence and the difference between attachment and transformation (posts on these to come).

For me this new era has awakened more gratitude for being taught the importance of saving money at an early age, along with a bit of a wakeup to how much I spent on things that I didn’t really need, or but for a fleeting moment, want.  I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my life direction and have a newfound clarity and priority in my action steps.  I have moved forward on projects that I found myself waiting for the “perfect time” to do.  I am eating less and moving more as I find it helps me in clarifying my thoughts in moving forward with my new aspirations in life.  The effects are numerous.

How is the change in today’s economy serving and teaching you?